75 Of The Funniest Announcements Made By Airline Employees

Pilots and flight attendants have very important jobs to do, most of which have something to do, in some way, shape or form, with our safety. But that’s not to say all of these airline staff members are super serious. In fact, there’s probably little that would be further from the truth. Now, I don’t know who submitted these quotes to the internet over the years or where any of them came from, so please forgive me for not giving credit where credit may be due. But for your reading pleasure, here are a whole bunch of things these flight attendants, pilots and occasionally other airline staff or customers have said that might make you giggle. Enjoy!

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When The Onion Satirizes Travel & It’s Not Very Far From The Truth

The Onion is a U.S.-based satirical digital media company and newspaper organization that publishes articles on international, national, and local news. Some people love it, some hate it. Either way is fine to them, I’m sure, as long as you keep clicking on their site ;-).

A while back, we discovered that The Onion has posted several articles about Disney parks and, like most satirical pieces, the articles were outlandish but very often based, in varying levels under the surface, in truth.

The Onion has also done a bunch of pieces on travel in general, many of which may or may not give you a chuckle:

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Some of The Funniest Flight Attendant Safety Spiels Ever

We all know the drill…before the plane takes off, the flight attendants have to tell us what we need to do regarding cabin safety in the event of an emergency. We’re all supposed to watch the demonstration so we know where the exits are, how to use the seat belt, oxygen mask and life vests, to not smoke or mess with the smoke detectors on the plane, etc. Most of us watch the demonstration every single time because we know how important it is. And we’ve all seen those who foolishly (and rudely) pay no attention whatsoever, mostly because they’re repetitive and sometimes kind of boring. But what if the safety demonstrations were like any of these?

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This Is Why You Should Pay Attention To The Flight Attendant’s Safety Demo. Maybe Use Common Sense, Too?

There are some people reading this who have probably been on planes hundreds of times. Who knows, maybe even thousands of times. Hopefully within those hundreds or thousands, or even tens of flights, none of you have ever experienced an in-flight emergency.

But if you had, would you be ready?

Many of you would probably say yes, but I kind of question that. Here’s why.

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Can A Flight Attendant Force You To Keep Your Window Shade Open/Closed?

The Flight Detective recently wrote a post about wanting to keep the window shade open while on a flight, even though the flight attendant said to close it. And it got me to thinking…it’s one thing for them ask you to lower (or raise) your window shade, but can they actually FORCE you to do it?

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