Home Travel He Invited His Mom On A Family Trip & Didn’t Tell His Wife

He Invited His Mom On A Family Trip & Didn’t Tell His Wife

by SharonKurheg

Well, this story is…interesting.

Reddit is an American social news aggregator, web content rating, and discussion website. It was established in 2005. It’s a huge community, with over 430 million monthly active members. Registered members can submit content to the site, including links, text posts, and images, which other members then vote up or down.

Reddit has over 100,000 active communities, one of which is called AITA. The initials represent the term, “Am I The A-Hole.” The community is defined as, “A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that’s been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you’re right, or you’re the a-hole.” It’s kind of like a “jury of your peers” sort of thing.

We’ve mentioned other situations from AITA in the past:

I was catch up on Reddit last night and saw a question on AITA that had just been posted. It only had a few hundred replies at the time, but by the time I checked earlier today, there were about 6,000 responses! The situation is…well, I don’t think I even have the adjective for it, but it’s bad enough where I’m going to give a trigger warning.

Here it is:

AITA for walking out of the Airport when I saw my husband’s mom standing there with her luggage?

I F30 don’t have the best relationship with my husband’s mom. Since day one she tried to make remarks and compare me to her ??. She then tried to get on my good side and started overly praising everything I do and sometimes even copying me like that one time when she LITERALLY dyied her hair purple just like mine and when everyone pointed out how ridiculous she looked, she actually blamed me and accused me of trying to make a joke out of her.

So, Anyways! My husband and I took 2 weeks off work to go visit some places out of the country – tourism in other words. Thing is I was the one who saved up for and arranged for the trip (my husband was responsible for booking the tickets). My husband’s mom wanted to come along and threw temper tantrums when I said no. She called, texted, sent people to talk to me into letting her come, even threatened to call the police and make some complaint up to get us to stay if she can’t come. My husband said we should just take her but I told him he was wrong to tell her about the trip in the first place. He gave me an ultimatim. said he wouldn’t go if she can’t come and I told him I’d gladly call his bluff which made him take his words back and say “FINE! I will tell her to stop it because we won’t take her”.

Things got quieter, suspeciously quieter. the day of the trip came and we got to the airport at 2pm. My husband was walking ahead of me and was looking left and right like he was looking for someone. I asked him but he didn’t respond. He lead me to the waiting area and first thing I saw was his mom standing there with her luggage . I froze in my spot, I felt a cold wave washing over me and I was fuming inside. She and my husband were hugging that’s when I quietly turned around and started walking towards the exit. My husband followed me while shouting at me to stop. he tried to stop me but I told him off the harshest way possible. He tried to say I was overreacting and that his mom was there “anyway” and I should let it go and not mess the trip up for us. I told him he and his mom could still go and that I was going home.

I went home and sobbed into my dog’s fur for several minutes. turned out he booked her a ticket without me knowing. an hour later he came home yelling and raging about how pathetic and spiteful I was to walk out and go home and ruin the trip last minute. I told him he caused this to happen. he said that I was being so hard on his mom it’s ridiculous. I refused to fight any more but he kept on berating me then called my family to tell them that the trip was cancelled and that it was because of me. My family said that I shouldn’t have ruined it for myself and should’ve sucked it up and done my best to enjoy.

Did I really overreact?

Y’all, 6,000 replies and I have yet to find one that suggests she was the A-hole. Here were some of the better responses (edited only for adult language and clarification):

  • IN what world are you the AH?
    You set boundaries, Quite freaking reasonable ones, and Your hopefully soon to be EX husband and his mother have stomped on them forever.
    I suggest going to a hotel, and have a lovely time alone while you consider a lawyer.
    Edited to add NTA, Good grief NTA – Simply_Toast
  • this is reeking of a unhealthy mother-son relationship NTA, BTW – trashyteal
  • I don’t wanna call the divorce card but.. divorce. You told your boundaries, you said no. She crossed it. Your husband told you he would tell her no, he lied. He tried to pin you in a corner by not saying anything and bringing her anyways and got upset you refused to be a part of his little trap?? And then to berate you?? He’s not a good man. He needs to go. – PeanutButter_Toast_
  • NTA! I actually like my fiancé’s mom and I’d be pissed if she inserted herself into a vacation like that, and if my fiancé went along with it. – arrowsnsuch
  • NTA. Choose the dog, OP. Ditch the lying, manipulative husband and his psychotic mother. I’m sorry you’re being bullied by two such horrible people, OP.
    Thank goodness for dogs. Dogs are the best ❤️🐶 – DowntownClock1632
  • He had the f**king nerve to try to tattle tell to your own parents like you’re some sort of naughty seven year old?! HELL to the entire f**k NO!
    Tell him he needs to leave and move in with his mother. He should not be your problem anymore. What a collosal waste of a person! – itsjustmo_
  • NTA. He gave you an ultimatum- no loving partner would ever put you in that position. He’s a mummy’s boy and she’s manipulative and toxic. You have every right to enjoy a holiday with your husband without them behaving like children.
    You did the right thing. The next right thing to do is leave. He doesn’t respect you. – RubyLarkspur87
  • Definitely NTA. You know that if you had sucked it up and gone with them, the entire vacation would be all about catering to his mom. Whatever SHE wanted to do. Whatever places SHE wanted to go, places SHE wanted to eat. You’d be the third wheel on your own vacation. – savethebooks
  • NTA. She threatened to CALL THE COPS on you because you wouldn’t invite her on vacation and your husband STILL thinks you should just pacify her??? What the actual f**k??
    You have a MIL problem and a husband problem. Yelling and screaming at you and trying to manipulate the family against you is abusive, s**tty behavior. That is NOT normal.
    If anything you are UNDER reacting here. – EmiliusReturns
  • Surprised Oedipus and Jocasta didn’t go enjoy their honeymoon after they got rid of you 🤮 NTA – DelsMagicFishies
  • NTA.
    How does your husband have sex with Mommy’s umbilical cord still wrapped around his neck?
    He lies to you, then gaslights you by trying to make you think that you’re the problem when you are justifiably upset. Worse, he recruits your family to gaslight you on his behalf.
    This is abuse. Abusive relationships don’t require hitting. You need to divorce Mommy’s boy. – charlotte-ent

You get the point.

I admittedly didn’t read every single response (however I did a whole, whole lot of them), but I did see 1 or 2 that questioned if the situation was real (It’s Reddit. People make crap up. But unfortunately, in today’s world, I could easily see something like this happening within a dysfunctional family). But other than that, there was not one person who suggested the OP (original poster) was the A-hole.

Our take on it

Obviously, families, and especially in-laws can have all kinds of relationship. Some are wonderful, some not so such, and sometimes people wind up having situations like the poor woman above.

I’m going to keep my eye on the thread to see if she ever gives an update on the situation. I’ll keep you posted, OK?

Feature Photo: Vic / flickr

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This post first appeared on Your Mileage May Vary

 

1 comment

Keisha Romero May 17, 2022 - 5:15 pm

Definitely NTA. I love my mother-in-law but I was married before and hated her with a passion. Had it been my ex mother-in-law I would have left the airport and gone straight to the closest divorce attorney and he would have been served when the plane touched down back in our country but my ex-husband would never have tried something like this. No way would my mother-in-law that I love very much do anything like this. We have family vacations every year on my husband’s side and we all went a huge Airbnb for a week. But we also have a cruise every year with my children,their spouses and grandson’s that we go on. Everyone gets along really well but his family is huge so my kids really wouldn’t get to spend any real time with us. If I were you and he walked into the house and started yelling at me because he invited her behind my back he would be sorry. I’m not going to say what I would do but he would regret every second of our marriage before he left that house. And I would go on the trip that I saved for alone.

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