Home Travel He Upgraded To ANA Business Class & Left His Wife In Economy. And Then…

He Upgraded To ANA Business Class & Left His Wife In Economy. And Then…

by SharonKurheg

Sigh…I just love reading Reddit sometimes. It’s just a guilty pleasure for me.

Established in 2005, Reddit is an American social news aggregator, web content rating, and discussion website. Registered members submit content to the site, such as links, text posts, and images, which other members then vote up or down.

Reddit has one area called AITA. The initials represent the term, “Am I The A-Hole.” The community is defined as, “A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that’s been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you’re right, or you’re the a-hole.” It’s kind of like a “jury of your peers” sort of thing.

We’ve mentioned other situations from AITA in the past:

I was behind on my Reddit reading and was playing catch-up the other day, when I found this gem from early February:

AITA for upgrading to a business class ticket while my wife sits in economy?

So I (m25) and my wife (f24) are going to the United States from Japan for a month for vacation, and when we booked the tickets, we initially thought that we were going to be sitting next to each other, but I had the option to upgrade my seat to business with miles and I did. Well, my wife is not too happy about that because she wanted to sit together on the 12 hour flight, but it’s overnight so we’re gonna be sleeping the whole flight so I didn’t think it mattered. I told her that and she got upset because she thinks I chose business class over her and that’s rude apparently. I said to her that she’s just jealous (in a teasing joking way) and she got upset and told me to ask the airline to see if I can switch my seat back to economy. I said hell no because I’m not going to miss my opportunity to sit in business class (which looks amazing btw, look up “ANA the room”). In my eyes, it’s just a 12 hour flight and it doesn’t matter if I sit next to my wife or not. If it’s really bad though I still have a week before my flight to maybe get it changed. AITA?

This was one time when it looked like nearly all of the responses (all 2.2k of them!) agreed that the OP (original post[er]) was an A-hole. Here were some of the better responses (edited only for adult language and clarification):

  • YTA. You literally ditched your wife and then mocked her. You are absolutely the a-hole here and she is completely right to be upset. – MIMOSABESTGIRL
  • YTA. Either upgrade both seats or neither, upgrading just yours comes across as very selfish.
    “Just” a 12 hour flight isn’t a sentence I hear that often, I’ve done 12 hour flights several times and they suck even when you have company you love. That flight is going to be even more awful for your wife if she’s stuck next to a stranger.
    Whether you understand why or not your wife has made it clear how she feels and YTA if you ignore that. – cutthestrings
  • YTA
    “In my eyes, it’s just a 12 hour flight and it doesn’t matter if I sit next to my wife”
    It matters to her, does that matter to you?? – _____grr___argh_____
  • YTA
    I hope to god your wife sits next to Jason Momoa for 12 hours and gets to be great friends. – Every-Category-6202 (Note from Sharon: This one made me giggle)
  • Yes, YTA. And quite possibly single very soon. – HappiestApple
  • YTA.
    “Sorry, honey. My physical comfort is more important to me than your company.” – KidsTheseDayYknow
  • “she wanted to sit together on the 12 hour flight, but it’s overnight so we’re gonna be sleeping the whole flight so I didn’t think it mattered.”
    Lol, you’ll be sleeping the whole flight in business. I doubt she will be [sleeping]  in economy. What a sh***y way to kick off your vacation, such a short sighted move. YTA OP. – Regular_dude_35`
  • I would ditch you once we got to Japan. YTA – TheIncredulousMom
  • YTA. I have flown back and forth from the US to Asia multiple times. It’s miserable flying alone in economy on a flight that lasts over 10 hours. It would be a little more bearable to have your significant other next to you. Instead, you selfishly decided to upgrade yourself and not her. Of COURSE YTA. If I were your wife, I would consider canceling my flight all together. – figuringthingsout__
  • YTA. Honestly it’s alarming that you can’t see that, your wife deserves better. I would bet that this isn’t the first time you’ve neglected to think of her while making a decision for yourself to be nice and comfortable. – InsomniacEnglish
  • Not JUST the a-hole. Also a giant IDIOT for harboring even the slightest doubt about your a-holishness. Upgrade her seat, and beg her forgiveness. – WalkingStickLength69
  • YTA
    How do you really think you’re not? So you took a cushie seat and left her to suffer in economy? How is that not the biggest AH move?
    In relationships you need to think about eachother. Don’t be surprised if she doesnt talk to you the entire trip.
    Or divorces you – SpaceCrazyArtist
  • YTA. Why even go on vacation with someone if you don’t want to spend time with them?
    Also why didn’t you upgrade her ticket too?
    If you really want to make this right, you should give her your seat and suffer in economy. – TheeCombatBaby
  • YTA. no, even more than that… YT f**king A.
    this isn’t about whether or not you’re sitting next to her. economy class isn’t comfortable even during a short flight, much less a 12 hour one. you upgraded yourself to something roomy and comfortable, while she’s stuck back in economy squished next to someone and is going to be miserable.
    if you really want to make it up to her, upgrade BOTH seats. at least at that point, you’re both in the same section and you might be able to get seated next to each other. if not, at least you’re both going to be comfortable and enjoy the flight.
    i swore that if i ever got the chance to travel internationally, over an ocean, it was going to be in business or first class. i would be FURIOUS with my husband (and he with me) if only one of the tickets got upgraded and the other person didn’t. – kaett
  • YTA, big time. Why in sweet Jaysus would you think this would be okay?
    Oh right, you are a man. You have never had to deal with sexual advances or harassment whilst flying. As woman who flew often for work, I had to deal with more than one flying AH. Men who would wait until you were asleep and try to grope you. Men who would hit on you repeatedly despite seeing a wedding ring (I wore one on the plane, despite being widowed, hoping it might discourage the airplane lotharios. ( It rarely did).
    So to repeat, YTA. – MairinRedOak

I think y’all get the picture. ;-). My favorite replies were the ones from people who had been in that exact situation:

  • YTA. I fly a lot and get upgraded often. My companion is also offered the same upgrades, unless there is literally only 1 seat, in which case I get upgraded without her. This situation has happened twice, and I’ve declined the upgrade both times because I’d prefer not to be single. Turning down a free upgrade is almost on the borderline, but if I actually purchased the upgrade (miles or cash, same difference) I could not imagine the (well-deserved) wrath I’d receive. – tsaoutofourpants
  • My dad did this to my mom all the time and now they’re divorced. YTA – NerdyGirlChicago
  • YTA. Years ago, I got booked for a business trip to a beautiful island in the middle of the Pacific, 9 hour flight away. Invited wife. Bought her a first class seat for the longest leg so she could enjoy the experience in comfort. Company rules did not allow me to upgrade to be with her, but I assured her I was fine and to enjoy her free mai tais. Visited her a couple times in first class to make sure she was doing well (she was :-).
    Earned some major good husband points there; trip is a treasured memory. – FoolishStone

I seriously went though all 2000+ replies and except for the ones that were off-topic (i.e. “I want to know how you are vacationing in Japan with their borders still closed. Because I’ve been trying to go visit my best friend for the past year.”), there were only a small handful that said the guy wasn’t an A-hole.

Fortunately, the A-hole saw the light (after 2,000 people said that he was an A-hole, who woulda thunk?) and wrote an addendum to his original post:

Edit: yeah I’m the AH, I’m buying her the upgrade to sit next to me in business I offered to switch seats but she really wanted to sit next to me I guess
Edit 2: since so many are asking, they were my miles and I couldn’t use them to upgrade her seat

So at least he eventually saw the error of his ways. Good.

Here’s the whole, long thread, in case you want to read it for yourself. Head up that it has some adult language.

If it were me and Joe, my first thought was that since we didn’t have enough miles to upgrade both of us to business class, we’d both sit in economy.

But I also asked Joe (who hadn’t read the Reddit post): “Hypothetical question – say we’re going to Japan and had enough miles saved for one one us to get into business class and the other of us had to sit in economy. What do you think we would do?

His response: “I’d offer it to you, and you say for me to take it so I could have the leg room.” Which is something that hadn’t even crossed my mind (and I told him as much), but yeah, he’s absolutely right. (BTW, both of us sitting in economy was his second answer)

Shows the difference between us (middle aged couple married for 20 years) and this 25y/o A-hole and his poor 24y/o wife. 😉

OK married readers…your turn. Let’s say that you and your spouse were going to Japan and you only had enough miles for one of you to be upgraded. What would you do?

Feature Photo: lawtonjm / flickr

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This post first appeared on Your Mileage May Vary

4 comments

UK March 7, 2022 - 5:20 pm

Avgeek couple here. I’d offer to split the time in biz.
If I were the one sitting in economy I’d encourage him to keep the biz seat! But we both know how weird points are and to take advantage when we can. (Even if it means flying different itineraries to get to the same dest).

Reply
tjp74 March 7, 2022 - 5:48 pm

matter of a fact, I just had a good opportunity to book a trip to JFK from SEA, non stop on flat bed Delta One for little over $1000 each… which normally costs 2k or up. But only 2 available at that price. I happened to have ton of gift cards and flight credits so booked my wife and 12 year daughter and I booked economy. I understand that our situation is different. We all have been to many premium cabins… from Emirate F to Etihad Apartment to Singapore Suite to JAL F… not to mention Qsuites and countless business classes… we have done it all. So I really don’t care… as long as I’ve got a good fare deal and some of us will enjoy it, I am happy. but, even if it’s a product I’ve never been to and I really wanted it, it’s either both of us or she lone period. No ifs or buts. If she really refuses to go alone in F then we both fly economy. Our first real international trip ever, since i first played this game, I’ve got her and my older daughter to fly Emirate F with shower while I and younger daughter flew business. I did same thing when we had first opportunity to fly Singapore Suite… only 2 available. Guess who flew it. I didn’t get to try Suite until 2 years after that but only because Singapore actually released 4 suites. Bottom line, happy wife, happy home. Nothing else matters.

Reply
KP March 7, 2022 - 8:37 pm

If me and SO are travelling and I get an upgrade, I’m going to give it to her. I also know she would be miserable the entire flight.

Reply
Don March 7, 2022 - 8:37 pm

I had a domestic upgrade, while my wife was stuck in the last row of economy next to the lav, so I went to the back of the plane with her and asked the gentleman in the middle seat of that last row if he wouldn’t mind switching seats with me and going to row 1. Puff of smoke and he was gone. His lucky day!

Reply

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