Home Funny Stuff Facilities For Your Private Parts: This Hotel Brochure Got Lost In Translation

Facilities For Your Private Parts: This Hotel Brochure Got Lost In Translation

by SharonKurheg

I’ve always admired people who can speak more than one language fluently. I mean, I took the same foreign language in school for over 7 years and considered myself pretty OK in speaking and understanding it, but I was certainly not fluent.

The thing with knowing another language fluently isn’t just knowing the different words – it’s also being aware of that particular language’s sentence structure, when to use which word when there’s more than one to choose from, and how to pronounce certain sounds that may not exist in your native tongue. That last one is important. Otherwise, you may wind up with a translation such as this:

Yep, one of our earlier claims to travel fame – we got a 4.61 upvote on Engrish.com 😉

With the advent of computers, and then artificial intelligence, translation from one language to another has become a whole lot easier (and correct!). However less than a decade ago, it was much less precise.

In the mid-2010s, a brochure for a hotel in Beijing was allegedly translated from Mandarin to English using machine translation such as an early version of Google Translate, BabelFish, etc. I say “allegedly” because some claim it was just a bad translation from someone who wasn’t proficient enough in English, and others say it was simply made up.

Whatever the case, it was definitely…interesting:

Getting There:

Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

The Hotel:

This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.

The Restaurant:

Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room:

Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.


Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Above All:

When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.

Enjoy your day, travel friends!

Feature Photo: MaxPixel

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This post first appeared on Your Mileage May Vary


Derek July 25, 2021 - 7:23 pm

I tend to think it’s made up because real mistakes might include some of the silly ones plus non-sense errors.

SharonKurheg July 25, 2021 - 9:36 pm

I tend to agree, TBH. But it’s still funny, so… 😉

Jorge Paez July 26, 2021 - 2:20 pm

Made up or not, my loud laugh of the day. I was eating shortbread cookies and almost lost my cookies!

Robert Joyce July 26, 2021 - 11:43 pm

This is HILARIOUS!! I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. I’ll remember it every time I need a laugh. Thank you!!


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