Home Funny Stuff “So Bad That They’re Funny” Reviews Of The U.S. National Parks

“So Bad That They’re Funny” Reviews Of The U.S. National Parks

by SharonKurheg

If you think of any vacation site, it’s natural that some people are going to love it and other people, not so much.

Joe and I are no exception, I mean, we went to Hoover Dam a few years ago. Some people find the place fascinating. And then there’s, well, here’s our review of it. 😉

Of course, the Hoover Dam thing was just on our blog. Some people will take their negative reviews and post them on TripAdvisor, Yelp, etc. Cases in point for some of the U.S. National Parks:

Zion National Park

“My guess is the people that love this place never get out much.”

Grand Canyon National Park

“Whoopity do, Grand Canyon. You are a giant hole in the ground. You were caused by erosion. You don’t have roller coasters or Dippin’ Dots. Jeeesh. Can you say ‘overrated?”

Big Bend National Park

“They didn’t expect to get electricity for at least half a week. Have you ever camped with a woman for half a week where there is no available warm running water anywhere? They start to stink. And complain. And to top it off we never got to see any bears or mountain lions.

“Thanks a lot Obama.”

Mount Rainier National Park

“I have seen bigger mountains.”

Acadia National Park

“The only thing I really got out my visit was a whole lot of jokes containing the phrase ‘Thunder Hole.'”

Gateway Arch National Park

“BORING!!!

“The thing is ugly as sin, It looks like half of a McDonalds logo, or a giant urinal.

“And going up to the top of the Arch is the worst. There is nothing to see other than St. Louis’ ugly skyline, which really looks like a generic skyline out of some cheap 80’s indie movie.”

Sequoia National Park

“This place is dangerous. There are bears, mountain lions, and worst of all, sketchy people. Hide your wives, hide your kids, hide your husbands, because they will come through your window. There are bugs and stuff, and they will bite you on your face.

“Don’t waste your time here. Go to Vegas, for sure Vegas is practical, and has 7/11s”

Joshua Tree National Park

“He informed us that if he tells us where the arch is and we actually go, we will create a ‘dangerous situation’ for other visitors. Duh!

“Go to hell, ranger Dustin (or Justin), you ruined our trip!”

Great Smoky Mountains National Park

“Don’t waste your time spending money to go to any place around or in these mountains between May and August. It rains and he severe thunderstorms everyday and almost all of the day. At least at a beach it rains for 20 minutes and stops. This place is beautiful, but not a great trip due to crappy weather that plagues the area. Won’t be back ever again.”

Hawai’i Volcanoes National Park

“Paid $20 to get in. Didn’t even get to touch lava.”

Mammoth Cave National Park

“Maybe our expectations were set high. Maybe two young guys looking for adventure was not what this place could handle but wow was this burning.

“When they turned all the lights off and told you to listen to the cave, Ranger Ashley would not stop talking. I am upset about this and wish I went to the distilleries instead.”

Badlands National Park

“I didn’t see what the big deal was. We drove a million years to see some semi-impressive rock formations? And there were RATTLESNAKES everywhere? Dumb. You lose cell service because you’re in Nowhere USA. The only thing bad about these lands is entire experience. Waste of time. Thank god I was drunk in the backseat for the majority of the trip.”

Arches National Park

“This park was extremely underwhelming. I went in with low expectations ready to see a couple rocks with holes, instead what I saw were many stone pillars that resembled circumcised donkey d***s. Overall has some pretty nice rocks though don’t take the kids!”

Carlsbad Caverns National Park

“They don’t enforce the rules, children run (almost pushing you over the railing/ledge) and yell. Most people have bad odor and stink.”

Yellowstone National Park

“The one thing that makes this place different from other parks is the geysers. I was extremely underwhelmed. They look SO much better in the pictures. If you want a similar look just boil a pot of water at home.”

Haleakala National Park

“I have no idea why anyone would rave so much about this stupid crater. We woke up at 3:30 a.m. and drove for 2.5 hours each way to watch something that looks better on Google images while freezing to death. Do yourself a favor and just Google ‘pretty sunrise’ and save yourself the disappointment.”

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This post first appeared on Your Mileage May Vary

4 comments

Jay February 8, 2021 - 11:36 am

Pretty sure most of these are for humor/sarcasm.

Reply
Edward February 8, 2021 - 11:44 am

Reminds me of when I was at Grand canyon and someone was complaining, ” This place is horrible. The wifi signal is non-existent”

Reply
Kate February 8, 2021 - 2:25 pm

Thanks, gave me a much needed laugh!

Reply
Fester February 8, 2021 - 2:44 pm

These were funny. I can’t believe you didn’t like Hoover Dam. An amazing feat of engineering and construction.

Reply

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