The Most Insane Take Out Meal We’ve Ever Had

by joeheg

While we stayed at our cabin outside of Pigeon Forge, we tried to find places with outside seating. Using Yelp, we got several hits, but when doing some research, we found that none of the places had what we’d consider to. be “eating outside.”

Instead of looking for outdoor dining, we decided to look for somewhere that offered takeout. One restaurant that was at the top of the list was The Old Mill. If you’re ever visited Pigeon Forge, you’ve probably eaten at or at least heard about this restaurant. Set on the property along the river of a grist mill that’s almost 200 years old, it’s now a tourist mecca with a restaurant, distillery and several shops.

Sharon and I ate here on a prior trip to Pigeon Forge. The food isn’t fancy. It’s down-home southern food, done really well.

When we tried to order online, it wasn’t working. So I called the restaurant from the parking lot of Dollywood.

I spoke to a friendly voice and explained that I tried to order online but it wasn’t working. I asked if any other option was available than the family meal. She said that the entire menu was available to-go and they didn’t understand the problem with the website. It was being worked on (but still isn’t fixed yet.)

I said that we were fine with ordering the family meal for 4-6 people.

a menu of a family meal

As four fully grown adults, this seemed to be more than enough food for us for $60. We asked if there was any other option than an entire pie and she said that we could have 1/2 a chocolate cake instead. That seemed more reasonable for 4 people than an entire pie.

They took my credit card over the phone and the make/model of our car. We were told to arrive in 20 minutes at the door under the restaurant, and they’d deliver the food right to the car.

We arrived right on schedule and a server walked out to my car with a massive box. While I signed the credit card receipt, the box was delivered to our passenger in the back seat. They cautioned him to hold it from the bottom as the box wasn’t taped shut. As it was plopped on his lap, he let out an audible “oof!”

As we drove back to the cabin, he commented that he didn’t know what was in the box, but it was really heavy. This was the box that contained dinner for four to six people.

a cardboard box on a tile floor

Besides a container of soup, 12 fritters, a quart of mashed potatoes and green beans and two entire fried chickens, there was 1/2 of what I’m told was a “schoolhouse cake.” For us northerners, that’s a 1/2 of a sheet cake with chocolate icing.

All of this food, for $60. We couldn’t believe what a value this dinner was. If we had known better, it would’ve been our meal on the first night and we could have used the leftovers for another dinner and eaten the cake over the entire four nights of our stay.

We were hungry but didn’t manage to put a dent in the amount of food we received. After soup, fritters and fried chicken, we could only manage to try a small piece of cake (with some ice cream we had in the freezer.) The rest of it ended up getting back in ziplock bags and going home with us for leftovers.

Just writing about this, I’m stuffed all over again.

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This post first appeared on Your Mileage May Vary

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