Some people on planes just don’t get it. Others just have really, REALLY unrealistic expectations. Here are some of the craziest requests made by some of each of those types of people…
“It’s really stuffy in here. How do you roll down the window?”
Apparently, this question is not all that uncommon and some people really think that the window on planes can be rolled down so they can get some fresh air at 35,000 feet. I guess no one has explained to them that if that was possible, everyone on the plane would be subject to frostbite and lack of oxygen and cabin pressure?
“Is there a window open? It’s freezing on this plane”
See above 😉
“Can you avoid flying too close to Windsor Castle? I’m worried it might annoy the Queen”
This was actually submitted to CabinCrew.com. Apparently, a passenger was concerned that Heathrow was so close to the castle that it might bother the Queen. A very sweet, thoughtful sentiment but really, if the Queen hasn’t complained yet, I don’t think she’s going to.
“I know you said we shouldn’t smoke in the lavatory but it’s a long flight and I haven’t smoked all day. Would it be OK just this once?”
When told no, the passenger reminded her that he saw an ashtray in the lavatory. So the FA had to explain why that’s there (this is why there are still ashtrays on planes, BTW).
“Why am I getting such a poor cell phone signal? This flight is going to be really long and I’ll be bored if I can’t use my smartphone.”
Another one from Cabin Crew. As of this writing, there’s still no cell signal above however many feet. Frankly, let’s hope it stays that way.
“I forgot something. Can you turn the plane around?”
Ummm, no. No, we can’t. Unless you own the plane, there are likely several dozen to several hundred other people on the plane who have places to go. To say nothing of the people waiting for the plane to land so they can board and go on their trip. So you can buy a new pair of flip flops when you get to your final destination, m’ok?
“Can I sit backward like the flight attendants? I tend to get carsick.”
A passenger apparently thought it would help him stop feeling queasy? I dunno…more people tend to get motion sick going backward than forwards, anyway.
“Can you fly the plane a little lower? My wife is afraid of heights”
Acrophobia – or ANY sort of phobia – is a real thing and my heart reaches out to anyone who has to deal with such severe fears of anything. But planes have to fly at certain heights in order to work as expected. And really, whether you’re at 35,000 feet or 20,000 feet, it’s still really, really high. Lower the window shade so you can’t see outside.
“Can you fly the plane a little lower? There are clouds messing up my view of the Grand Canyon”
I’ve never asked such a thing, but I’ve certainly felt these peoples’ pain when flying over the Grand Canyon, Walt Disney World, NYC, etc. and the view is blocked because it’s a cloudy or rainy day. Luck of the draw, better luck next time, and there are always helicopter or private plane tours to consider so you can fly low enough to see what you want.
“Where is the ATM onboard?”
Alas, planes are not banks and there are no ATMs available onboard. Most, if not all planes only accept credit/debit cards nowadays anyway.
“I don’t like anything on the menu. Can you give me a hamburger instead?”
This passenger apparently thought planes double as full-service restaurants? I dunno…
“My kids are getting bored. Where is the play area?”
The fact that they were on a plane didn’t seem to matter to them. The mom thought there should be a play area because it was a really long flight.
“Why aren’t the flight attendants as attractive and sexy as the ones in your advertisements?”
I’m not sure if this one was an actual question or a complaint after the fact. But he as per CabinCrew.com, he wrote to the airline after the fact and said the flight didn’t live up to his expectations because of that.
“Can you tell me who I’m sitting next to? I hate sitting next to strangers”
Even if you have their name, they’re still going to be strangers, aren’t they? And the flight attendant isn’t going to know the person either, so (s)he isn’t going to be able to introduce you or let you know what you both have in common.
“Can I exit the plane via the rubber slide?”
Um….no. And as fun as it looks in the safety manual, you should be happy that the slide isn’t available because if it was, it would mean there was some sort of emergency.
“The engine noise is giving me a headache. Can you turn it off?”
One final entry from CabinCrew.com. A passenger with a headache asked his flight attendant what the “dull whirring sound” was. Even after the attendant told him that it was the sound the engine makes, the passenger asked the attendant to tell the pilot to shut it off. When his request was denied, the passenger threatened to file a complaint against them, claiming that the airline’s terms and conditions “did not state how loud the engines were during the flight.”
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This post first appeared on Your Mileage May Vary