Home Funny Stuff 100 Of The Most Stupid Questions Ever Asked of Travel Agents

100 Of The Most Stupid Questions Ever Asked of Travel Agents

by SharonKurheg

Some travelers like to use a “do it yourself” approach and book all of their travel on their own. Others prefer to use a travel agent (TA). Either method is fine, and whichever works better for you, go for it.

Should you decide to use a travel agent though, you may want to avoid asking questions such as these… 😉

  1. Will there be noisy guests at the hotel?Screen Shot 2018-05-27 at 11.33.03 PM
  2. Can you make sure I don’t get a window seat on the plane because I just had my hair done?
  3. Do they have different money in other countries?
  4. I was looking online at the picture of our room. I hate the curtains. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep in that room with those curtains. Can you cancel the whole trip?
  5. Can you guarantee that no pet has ever been in the hotel room?
  6. What address do I put on my luggage tags?
  7. Is it windy on the beach?
  8. This will be our family’s first cruise and we have several cabins on different decks; do all of the decks go to the same ports of call?
  9. Do they speak English in Britain?
  10. Are there toll roads on the way to Hawaii?
  11. I’d love a train trip to Africa…No, I mean I want a train trip from New York to Cape Town.
  12. What time does the sun come up in Australia?
  13. Can you book two rooms in different parts of the resort – one for me and my wife, and the other for my girlfriend?
  14. Can you please plan a honeymoon for me, my bride, and my mother?
  15. What language do they speak in Spain?
  16. I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was in Kings Cross. Can you help?
  17. Is our relationship like a client/lawyer relationship?
  18. Can I fish off the cruise ship?
  19. Can you give me a list of all the ATMs in Paris?
  20. Don’t tell my fiancé this is where I took my first wife for our honeymoon.
  21. Can we pet the lions on an African safari?
  22. Are there supermarkets in Sydney and do they have milk all year round?
  23. Could you provide me a list of any brothels on the Gold coast?
  24. Does the crew on the cruise ship sleep on board?
  25. I’d like to get married in the Caribbean on an island where the marriage is not legal in the U.S.Screen Shot 2018-05-27 at 11.39.23 PM
  26. Is there a walking tour on the cruise?
  27. Will there be shadows on my face at 4 p.m. when the pictures are taken?
  28. Do you have any resorts with a pool?
  29. Will you watch my pet while I’m away?
  30. Can you get me tickets for the Piccadilly Circus?
  31. Who performs in Piccadilly Circus?
  32. I’d like to visit Scotland and Denmark on the same trip. (Agent explains they don’t have enough time to travel the distance.) But they’re only an inch apart on the map!
  33. Can I carry weapons on the plane?
  34. Can I wear high heels in Australia?
  35. Do we need to be twins to have Twin bedding?
  36. Why did they build so many ruined castles and abbeys in England?
  37. Has this cruise ship ever sunk?
  38. Can you arrange for the whales to jump in the background while I’m proposing to my girlfriend?
  39. I wish we could go to Hawaii but we don’t have a passport (said a U.S. citizen)
  40. Does the time difference mean we’ll get there faster?
  41. Is Paris near France?
  42. What would happen if I flushed a ship toilet while still sitting on it?
  43. Can you ask the airline to block the seat next to me so I can stretch out?
  44. Can I get a refund if it rains?
  45. What time does the midnight buffet start on the cruise?
  46. Is food included in an all-inclusive?
  47. Does “ocean-view” mean I’ll have a view of the ocean?
  48. Can I catch a train from Fiji to New Zealand?
  49. A crab stole my toothbrush. How do I get a refund for my entire holiday?
  50. How is it possible that my flight leaves Sydney at 10am and arrives in Vancouver at 10am on the same day?FP
  51. Is Wales closed during the winter?
  52. Where can I buy crocodile repellent?
  53. Are there kids at the adult-only resort?
  54. Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population?
  55. Do I have to use my real name to buy the ticket?
  56. Will I get wet if I wear a wet suit in the water?
  57. I want to take a cruise to Las Vegas.
  58. If I cancel my holiday, can I still go?
  59. How far do planes go?
  60. Will the snow be cold at that winter ski resort?
  61. Will I be able to see kangaroos on the streets in Australia?
  62. How do the Hawaiian islands stay so close together without floating apart?
  63. Can I see the state lines when I’m flying over them? I want a window seat so I can see the borders like the map…
  64. How do planes fly at night when it’s so dark?
  65. Who feeds the Loch Ness Monster?
  66. Do they do outside cabins that are under the sea, so I can see under the ocean?
  67. What time does the three o’clock ferry leave?
  68. How much of the caves at Carlsbad Caverns are underground?
  69. Am I speaking to a live agent?
  70. Which direction is north in Australia?
  71. I don’t want to go anywhere where there’s topless sunbathing. My husband will spend the whole vacation looking at other women.
  72. How long does it take to get to Indonesia, from anywhere?
  73. Which bus will I have to take to get from the Orkney Islands to the Shetland Islands?
  74. Do you ride down the mountain on mountain biking?
  75. Do I have to bring my own bedding?Imp
  76. Is Edinburgh in Glasgow?
  77. How fast will the ice cubes in my drink melt on the other side of the equator?
  78. Does the ship have lifeboats?
  79. Can we drive our rental car in Hawaii out of state? We want to go to Alaska. After all, they are the 49th and 50th states on the map… so there must be a bridge, right?
  80. Are there icebergs in the Caribbean?
  81. Can you watch my groceries while I do some more shopping in the mall?
  82. Can I take my cats on the cruise ship?
  83. How many pairs of socks should I pack?
  84. If I fly business class can I choose what time I fly?
  85. Are there sharks in that ocean?
  86. Does the sun set there?
  87. When I get to Hawaii, where do I convert my money? (asked a U.S. citizen)
  88. What would the cost be for a car rental to drive to Australia?
  89. How much does the bus cost to get from here to Africa?
  90. Do you have cruises from Toronto to China please?
  91. What time of night does the Loch Ness Monster surface?
  92. Is this Tim Hortons?
  93. TA: ‘You will need a Visa to travel to China.’ Customer: ‘But I only have a Mastercard?’
  94. Is it safe to drink the bathwater in Mexico?
  95. Can you guarantee the weather?
  96. Why did they build so many ruined castles and abbeys in England?
  97. Can you book me on a plane that doesn’t go through turbulence?
  98. What is the safest seat on a plane if it crashes?
  99. If I don’t pay for a seat reservation on my flight will I have to stand?
  100. Are there are undiscovered ruins at Mesa Verde National Park?

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This post first appeared on Your Mileage May Vary

7 comments

Victor Sawicki May 29, 2018 - 10:54 am

6 is not a stupid question. Never put your home address on your luggage tag. Anyone at the airport can see you will be out of town and can use that knowledge to rob your home. Put a trusted friend, neighbor or relative address on your tag ,if travelling home. If your luggage is lost and then found by airline they will call to tell you. Of course you should put your phone number on tag. You can tell airline not to deliver to that address but to home address. If travelling from home, put name and address where you will be staying. A good agent should know this info and advise traveller, even if not asked.

Reply
r m h June 2, 2019 - 10:01 pm

correction needed :

Should use decide to use a travel agent though, you may want to avoid asking questions such as these… 😉

Reply
Lara S. June 3, 2019 - 3:15 pm

I know it would be crazy but #66 actually sounds pretty cool. Like if they could do submarine windows? It would probably be the most expensive room on the ship.

Reply
SharonKurheg June 3, 2019 - 3:18 pm

LOLOL! It would be, wouldn’t it? 🙂

Reply
David June 5, 2019 - 9:38 am

Several of these questions are not ridiculous.

#78 – river cruise boats typically do not have life boats.
#26 – many, if not most, cruises offer walking tours in the ports they visit. Some offer walking tours of the ship.
#33 – can (sic) I carry a weapon on a plane. In the US (don’t know international rules), one may pack an unloaded weapon in their luggage as long as they notify the airline when they check the bag. No ammunition!

There are a few others.

Reply
Pat June 5, 2019 - 10:25 am

#45 isn’t too bad. I’ve been to midnight buffets that have started earlier than midnight.

Reply
Adam May 10, 2020 - 12:23 pm

Question 1 – Will there be noisy guests at the hotel?

Certain hotels / resorts cater to a noisier crowd so that is a valid concern. If you are looking for a quiet vacation then it’s a good question to ask.

Question 2 – Can you make sure I don’t get a window seat on the plane because I just had my hair done?

This is also a valid concern. Just because you can close your window, doesn’t mean you can close the windows for the people in front and in back of you. In fact if the travel agent was really good, they would figure out what direction the pax was traveling in and seat her based on which side of the plane the sun will hit.

Question 3 – Do they have different money in other countries?

Not really a stupid question because you can use the US dollar in many countries.

Question 5 – Can you guarantee no pet has never been in the hotel room?

This is a very valid concern for someone that is very allergic to pets. I wouldn’t want to spend my whole vacation not being able to breathe because I booked a room that sometimes has pets in it.

Question 6 someone already covered

Question 7 – Is it windy on the beach?

How is this a bad question? Some beaches are way windier then others, such as beaches in Aruba.

Question 12 – What time does the sun come up in Australia?

Not a dumb question at all, I’m sure it was asked with regard to the time zone difference. Furthermore the sun comes up at different times depending on your proximity to the equator.

Question 17 – Is our relationship like a client/lawyer relationship?

That’s not a bad question if one spouse is planning travel behind the others back.

Question 20 – Don’t tell my fiancé this is where I took my first wife for our honeymoon.

This isn’t even a question

Question 21 – Can we pet the lions on an African safari?

There are some places where you can pet and hold wild baby tigers so it’s not the worst question in the world.

Question 23 – Could you provide me a list of any brothels on the Gold coast?

Seems like a very good question to me.

Question 25 – I’d like to get married in the Caribbean on an island where the marriage is not legal in the U.S.

For someone who just wants a symbolic wedding, this seems like a good request.

Question 43 Can you ask the airline to block the seat next to me so I can stretch out?

There actually is an option for this on a New Zealand airline called the skycouch,

Question 71 -I don’t want to go anywhere where there’s topless sunbathing. My husband will spend the whole vacation looking at other women.

This isn’t even a question

Question 83 – How many pairs of socks should I pack?

That’s a fair question. If you were traveling to the Caribbean, I wouldn’t recommend many pairs at all. If you were traveling to Scotland, I would recommend bringing extras.

Question 85 – Are there sharks in that ocean?

This is a pretty good question. Some oceans like the Alantic have way more sharks than in the Caribbean.

Question 98 – What is the safest seat on a plane if it crashes?

A middle seat towards the back on the plane is the safest seat in a plane crash. This isn’t a stupid question.

Reply

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